Dottie

I cannot believe that I just went to the memorial service for my friend Dottie! I worked with Dottie for about 7 years, and during that time, I not only came to see her as my coworker...She became my best friend. She was the type that could be brutally honest but at the same time loving. She helped me through some interesting times in my life and no matter what, she never judged me by my decisions and always knew that in the end, I would make the better choice.

She was right. I chose to marry Todd and live happily ever after. I chose to be a good wife and now a great mother. These are just some of the lessons I got from Dottie. She also taught me how to pray for God's will to be done and not to pray selfishly. This is the best lesson I learned from her.

When I found out, the first time, that Dottie had Breast Cancer, she had already made up her mind that she had lived a great life and did not want to go through any kind of treatment that would damage her body even more. She asked me what I thought and I told her. I told her that I was going to be selfish and that I wanted her to fight this thing because I needed her in my life. I also told her that her children would want her to fight and Dean would want her to fight. And boy when she decided to fight it....SHE WON!!! I went to several of her treatments and stayed with her when she was sick. I arranged for food to be brought to her and Dean and for many other things that would make their life easier at that time. Dottie even got a puppy from us during this time. She always said that Sadie really helped her, because Sadie depended on her. Sometimes Sadie is the reason Dottie got out of the bed.

During this time I began to pray as I had never prayed before. But instead of praying for Dottie's healing, I prayed that whatever God's will was, let it be something that we as a family could accept (I began considering myself as part of her family) and that it wouldn't be so painful for Dottie. Sometimes it was hard to pray without being selfish, but Dottie told me God's will is stronger than anyone else's.

As Dottie went through her treatments and surgery she always had the winning attitude. It didn't slow her down. This was the Dottie I loved. She has to be the strongest woman I had ever come to know.

She had done a lot of living before I had met her and that is what made her strong. In the years that followed her first round of cancer, she was able to see another miracle happen. Her daughter Amanda became a mommy. This was something that they had both longed for for many years. Wow, this, I think, is what Dottie had made it through the cancer for. her and Dean moved to Winston-Salem to be closer to Amanda and her family.

During the move to Winston-Salem, Dottie found out her cancer had come back. Again, she fought like a champ and was able to spend some great quality time with her family. I Praise the Lord for this everyday! Dottie was where she needed to be, but I hated not being able to be there for her. She had Amanda and Dean and I knew they were what she needed. Sometimes though I feel horrible for not doing more this last time she was sick, but I do know that Dottie was in the hands she needed to be in and that she remembered how well I had taken care of her when Amanda couldn't be here.

I will never forget what a great teacher, woman, mom, wife, christian, and Friend that Dottie was.


This poem was read at Dottie's memorial service today. It was definitely one of her favorites and so true to the way she led her life.


If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Into his nest again,
I shall not live in vain."
Emily Dickinson